Like Will Heaven, I was bemused by the lame reasons given in a recent Guardian editorial for its ditching of Labour. “If the Guardian had a vote in the 2010 General Election,” we grateful punters were told, “it would be cast enthusiastically for the Lib Dems.” Quite apart from the bizarre concept of extending universal suffrage to newspapers, as if they don’t have enough power already, the obvious question for those of us with Leftish inclinations is: why now?

In the far-off days when I used to be an MP, I enjoyed taking part in a bi-monthly review of the week’s news on BBC Radio Berkshire with my friendly Conservative neighbour Richard Benyon MP. A while ago we were discussing likely general election outcomes, and I remember him saying something along the lines of “all David Cameron has to do is look like a Prime Minister and wait”. Much as I like Richard, I couldn’t help thinking how complacent this sounded. But, as events have unfolded, waiting for the opposition to divide or implode has indeed been one of the Tories’ best strategies.

If it wasn’t for a furious Thames barbel on the end of my fishing rod, I probably wouldn’t have spent 13 years as Labour MP. Let me explain…

The last speech that I made as a Member of the House of Commons came at the end of what some have called the Manure Parliament, at a time when the stench of corruption and personal greed has overwhelmed the good that MPs of all parties try to do and the reasons why the vast majority of us came into politics in the first place.

There have been many casualties of last year’s MPs’ expenses scandal, from those who employed family members in non-jobs, to those who aspired to palatial living quarters for their mallards and hankered after a new wide-screen TV on the taxpayer.

Perhaps it’s because I’m neither a candidate nor an organiser for the first time in over 20 years that this seems to me to be the bleakest and most uninspiring contest yet. Public disenchantment with the two main parties is at a record high, and both sides are offering a prospectus of massive cuts to tackle the budget deficit leaving themselves very little wriggle room to paint the picture of the glad, confident, yes-we-can, morning of hope and promise to woo the voters to their cause.

How quickly things change in this game. A mere six months ago, the Tories were riding high in the polls, couldn’t set a foot wrong with the press and had won the endorsement of the overlord of News International and his various puppet news and broadcast channels.

The dark joke doing the rounds at Westminster is that the ex-Ministers lobbygate sting so successfully carried out by the Sunday Times and Channel Four’s Dispatches programme has given new meaning to the term, “available only to the highest Byers.” But there’s nothing funny about either the pathetic boasting of the now whipless and soon to be former MP nor the totally useless regime of self-regulation that is supposed to control the activities of UK lobbyists.

Although slavery was technically abolished in 1833 it is, in fact, still practised - both regularly and brutally in some of the most prestigious houses in London. This week I held a Commons debate on “Visa rights of Migrant Domestic workers”. Following a visit to Kalayaan, a West London based charity that offers direct support for victims of human trafficking and migrant workers suffering abuse or exploitation.

It is often said that “the truth is the first casualty of war” and there is no doubt that the phoney political war is over and the General Election campaign is well under way. Not unreasonably, the Prime Minister called upon both sides in the long-running British Airways dispute to recommence negotiations, resolve their differences and avoid a disruptive strike. This prompted the Tory attack machine to go into overdrive.